Saturday, October 31, 2009

As grand parents what rights do we have to see our grandchildren when their parents split?

They were young and incompatable and inevitably seperated acrimonously. we are now made to beg (or so it feels) to see our grandson. where do we stand. Serious answers please
Answers:
I sure do not agree with a lot of these answers. Grandparents have visitation rights in my state both by specific statute and case law. Also, if the criteria in your state is "best interests of the child", a Court could find easily that continuing contact with you is best for your grandson. Since I don't know where you live, I don't know the laws of your state. However, just google grandparent visitation rights and you'll get a lot of links. About the 2nd link gives information about individual states. Even if your state does not have a specific statute like my state, you might be able to win rights through a court. The "Parental Rights" doctrine, which treats children as property, is dying. It is being replaced by the "best interests of child" doctrine. Most of the answers say you have no rights. I say you may have rights. I'm an attorney who has represented children for more than 25 years. Unless your visitation is harmful to your grandson, you'd win this in Court easily in my state. See an attorney and file a Court action. The Court will appoint an attorney for your grandson and you can very likely get visitation. EDIT: I checked and saw you were from Wales. I, of course, gave you an American answer and I sincerely apologize. With a lot of effort, I found a case that gave grandparents custody from a court in Wales. Therefore, you at least have a chance. I could not find a definitive answer to your rights in the U.K., but after reading the case from Wales, I am strongly convinced this issue is worth a visit to a barrister or solicitor. I generally know the difference between barrister and solicitors since I did a course at Oxford in law school, but I am not sure which you visit to determine your rights in this type of case.
sadly, you have no rights
No rights!
No rights at all sadly
Serious answers only, OK.
You'll have to see a brief, but you shouldn't have 'rights' as their not your kids. Unmarried fathers struggle for rights to have access to the nippers, so grandparents must take a rung below.
you have no LEGAL rights.
None. Sad but true. My best friend has the same trouble, hasn't seen her grandkids in years.
Sorry, Unfortunately, I don't believe you have any rights at all. You could sign the petition at http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/grandparents/... and this is the url for grandparents' action group http://www.gaguk.net/
There really ought to be another petition to give children the right to see their grandparents! I'm bitter becausemy own children would dearly have loved to see their grandparents, but they couldn't be bothered, and would practically pass the bottom of the street without calling in! Life's a *****. Isn't it?
It depends on the state you live in. I know in California grand parents do have rights. Call a family law attorney. Alot of them give free consultation right over the phone. I know what you are going through, as I am going through the same thing. I don't think they realize how much they are hurting the children.
Good luck to you.
you don't have any rights.it's up to the parents.that's why it's so important to be a good non-interfering in law.
Sadly, the snippy answers are correct. I assume you're in the U.S.? The Supreme Court has held that grandparents do not have an automatic right to visitation when the parents object (subject to some modification by state law).
Generally, child custody/visitation are awarded based on the "best interests of the child" test -- the judge asks, "What is in the best interest of the child?". However, for a grandparent to get visitation, they have to make an extra showing above and beyond simple "best interests." They generally have to put on a really compelling case. However, the specifics of grandparent visitation vary from state to state. You should contact a family law attorney, who will help you. You will eventually have to petition the court, which will hold one or more hearings, and ultimately rule on how much visitation you get (if any).
Good luck!
No rights but hey don't give in stick with it as they are your kith and kin and if you lose contact with them now it will be a long mountain to climb to get back those lost years.
From one who has not see her eldest daughters children for 19 years. It still hurts like mad but I cannot intrude as too much water has flown under the bridge.
So again my advice and whilst you have no legal rights do try and talk to your daughter-in-law. Let her know that you have no animosity towards her but that you would still like contact with your grandchildren and will help out if she needs help at anytime. She will appreciate plain speaking and the impartiality.
The only rights you have to them are the ones the parents give to you.
Grand parents have no legal rights and if the couple were not married the father has no legal rights unless he goes through the court but that is expensive and usually doesn't help out. Can you not talk to the mother and try and sort something out, from past experience do not make the mother out to be a horrible person because the children will always take the mothers side whether or not she is a bad person.
I guess your access to your grandchildren will have to be through that parent that is YOUR child. I take it that your child is the non-custodial parent ?
Try visitation to coincide with when YOUR child gets to visit his/her children, ask him/her to bring them by on his/her visitation days, or ask if you can come to visit him/her.
If your child has had ALL parental rights severed, I guess it gets trickier. I guess your "rights" depend on the state where you live.
However, if your child has had ALL parental rights severed, and a judge agrees to allow you visitiation, I imagine that you would have to agree not to use YOUR visitation as a way of sneaking in a visit with the parent who had the ties severed.
You probobly could find better answers from a lawyer, I really don't know enough about your situaion.
It doesn't seem that you have been cut off completely, it seems to me that you feel you don't have enought visitation from your remark about having to "beg".
Understand that the child is already having their time divvied up between TWO households, school and any extra-curricular activities, if every relative started to demand their "piece of the pie" (the pie being the child's time) then you are going to end up with a kid being pulled in a hundred different directions.

Try maintaining a good relationship with BOTH parents and grandchildren, perhaps see what you can do to help, and don't DEMAND huge amounts of your granchildrens time.
You catch more bee's with honey, so the saying goes.
edited to add: see links below
It really depends on what state you live in. Many states are giving grandparents rights now. First thing to do is see an attorney about your rights in your state. Most offer free initial consults. You can try legal aid for low cost attorneys.
You don't have any rights as a Grandparent...One of which I do support because you aren't the one who has to raise the child. If I sound bitter it is because my own mother-in-law tried to split my husband and myself up...JUST so she could try to get a hold of my son...so she could get more money to "raise" him, all of this based on lies and getting my medical records ILLEGALLY (which showed nothing negative about me.) There are REASONS why there are the laws which limit what Grandparents can and can't do. Yes, my husband and I are still together, but she is kept at a very long distance, so she can't meddle again.
Depending on your grandchild, and if they are in sports...why can't you go to their games, and participate that way in their life? Let the parents know that you are willing to watch the child whenever they need assistance. Don't make it into "VISITATION" rights because that will only anger the parents..and rightly so because it is THEIR child that they already have to "Share" that child with one other person.
Grandparents can't force visitation. That was decided by the supreme court. All you can do is try, and avoid any confrontations with the parent making you jump through hoops to see your grandchild. Yes, that sucks, but it how thing are. I wish it wasn't.
sadly you have no rights whatsoever-i hope everthing works out for you-people who use children as pawns make me sick x
I went thru this in the 80's ...i was divorced and my mother wanted to see her granddaughter more often than allowed. It is a sad situation. Divorced parents need to make the world a happier place for their kids-that means tolerance for visitation rights, etc.The parents need to get ALONG
It is too bad that you and your daughter-in-law/son-in-law give you such grief over this. I have 2 grandchildren that I have rarely seen since they were children - and now they are in their 20's. Because we were so estranged they still don't visit me or call because as far as they are concerned, I am a stranger. But I also have 3 other young grandchildren that I always stayed in contact with. (They live in another state right now, but I talk to them often and whenever they are nearby they make it a point to visit.) If your grandchild lives nearby, perhaps you can invite them over with their (Mom/Dad) for a nice BBQ, Sunday dinner, or a major holiday. Explain that you have no hard feelings about the break-up of the marriage, and what's done is done. That was yesterday's news. Oh, and don't have the other parent there at the same time if there is such animosity between them. Explain that when you invite them over.
been there and endedup going to see a family court solicitor its the children that as rights , every one thinks its the grand parents go and have a chat with a solicitor you will get all information you need.
I have read the answers on your question and was very surprised,everyone seem to say grandparents have no rights.
As far as i'm aware they are all wrong,as grandparents now do have the legal right to see their grandchild.
This i will admit is a very new ruling,so would explain why so many have given the answer that they have.
It would have to be done through a solicitor,and through the courts but should get the result needed.
But to be honest a little sweet talking and sucking up to the mother may get quicker results.They need to speak to the mother and very nicely stress there wishes,and hopefully come to a more pleasant agreement.
If they have to go the legal route,the chances are the mother will get upset and stop all visits etc until the court decides otherwise.This could obviously take sometime,and the grandparents could wait sometime before seeing their grandchild.

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